Bucketheadness

A long time ago, in the summer of 1969, there was a preacher man. This preacher stumbled upon a helpless infant. He named him brian, and cared for him as his own son. He read his son many books, and once, while reciting lines from the bible to brian, he noticed that brians eyes were like that of a demon form the abyss. This scared the preacher so much that he cast him out of his house and condemned him to live in the preachers chicken coop with his chickens. He would toss KFC buckets filled with chicken bones that brian would eat and make grotesque sculptures with. Around the age of ten, the preacher tossed a very old and abused acoustic guitar into the coop. Brian picked up the guitar and instantly was making very beautiful music with it. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the preacher only heard evil sounds coming from the instrument. Brian soon discovered cinema, and by lloking through the gaps in the chicken coop walls, he could make out the screen of a drive-in theater. This was no ordinary drive-in theater. This drive-in only played movies of terror and horror. Brian could not hear any of the audio coming from the theater, so he made his own soundtracks to the movies with his guitar. His favorite movie was the texas chainsaw massacre. Many times he saw this movie, and was so influenced by it that he made a mask for himself out of the chicken bones and a hat out of the KFC bucket. This is the fateful day that buckethead was born. It was on this day that Buckethead broke out of the coop, and was discovered by the world to be the greatest guitarist on the face of the earth. Many years passed, and although fairly unknown by most of the world, he still had a fair amount of followers. And then, on the night of September 25, 2008, he came to minneapolis, MN. It was a fairly average show for buckethead, a mosh pit here and there, people gaping in awe at his tremendous ability. Near the end of the show he decided to do the unthinkable. He came to the front of the stage, and, while soloing with his left hand, shook the hands of three young men in the front row. These three lucky guys were Brett Hiemenz, Luke Schwanke, and Tyler Kapus. It was glorious. His hands were like that of an angel.